It is dark in this place once filled with hopes and dreams. It is now only hatred and pain. I am on my own side while everyone else stays in the light. They are filled with happiness while i am filled with anything but that. No one is with me. No one will ever be.
My friends? They are happy and will never understand me. Nor will they ever wish to. I can't blame them. I would also want to remain happy but i have forgotten how. I don't know how to go back to the light. I only know rain and night and watch the moon.
It is my only friend. My only love. My only heart. My only someone who's can understands and listens and helps me throughout my life. It is my last light of hope, dream, and my one love that shall never be away.
Memories flowing in my head. Sometimes makes me feel so uncomfortable. It's jerk that i can't forget!~ Somebody told me that i'm crushed in the heart. Am i? The other told me that i need to start forgetting the bad times that happened in the past. But, did they know that some memories don't last?
This is the beginning. This is the end. It is everything from then to now... every dividend. The memories rising up and breaking ground. Come inside .. look in my head... do you see li
fe? Or do you see death? The past and the future come together.
I see the light, yet i'm in the dark. Sometimes i feel like i'm so together and sometimes i'm so broken apart. It feels so good .. but it's just too bad. I feel so happy…but I'm just too sad.
Why am i still crying? Why am i still hurting? Why am i still mourning for something i know is gone? Why am i suffering from a decision that have been made?
What did i do? What did i say to make you leave? Did i deceive you? No? Then why do you treat me like i'm nothing? No one important? Huh??
Can't you see i'm lost? I'm waiting for you to help but you turned away. You left me confused and outraged. I think i'm losing my mind. I've been uneasy. Lonely and depressed.
What do i do now? Wait for you? I can't. I've waited too long. I even gave you a second chance but you left again. Please don't ask if i'm not giving you anymore chances because you'll end up disappointing me.
Will you open up your mind and let me come inside? Or will you turn your back to me, and run away and hide? Everything to me is seen in black and white. I'm color blind to my own soul, though i search with all my might.
But i won't give up until i get through. And i won't stop until i'm deep inside...Just pray... that tomorrow.. The bad memories go away... You're useless and disappointing. I'm over you. I'm done.
- Tah hapa2 ntah ...Mimpi bukan2 jeh...Nak sambung tido balik dah tak buleh...
- Apa nak jadi entah? Macam bodo je rasa..
- Pegi mampus la kan... Engkau sapa? Aku sapa?
- Dulu mungkin la engkau ada kena mengena dgn aku. Sekarang? Aku tak tau apa yang engkau nak. Apa yang engkau pk. Apa agenda engkau.
- Apa yang aku pasti, aku punya seseorang yang aku sangat2 sayang. Seseorang yang aku percaya sampai mati. Seseorang yang sentiasa ada bersama dengan aku walau segelap mana pun yang aku rasa.
- Cuma aku sgt2 regret sbb aku tak mampu ludah muka engkau bila engkau cuba untuk dekat semula dengan aku.
- Aku bahagia dengan apa yang aku punya. Aku bahagia dengan apa yang aku lalui. Aku bahagia menjadi diri aku.
- Jujur, aku takut akan hilang segalanya kalo2 aku jadi diri aku yang sebenar. Tapi.. entah .. Biarlah takdir yang menentukan.
- Macam gampang jer ayat2 nih.. Ahaha!
- Layan la lagu kat bawah nih .. The best song ever form Metallica. Album reload. Masa beli kaset ni dulu, lama gile dah. Masa form5 dulu. Cemana tah buleh terapal lak .. Tak sampai 1 jam terapal. Ahaha! Sgt2 best oke! Official VC tak jumpa. Tapi .. Sile la layan!~
- Sekian. Terima kasih. Nak sambung tido. Harap2 Tak mimpi yg sama lagi dah. Assalammualaikum warahmatullah.. Daa~