It Is Very Hard To Say The Exact Truth, Even About Your Own Immediate Feelings

Much Harder Than To Say Something Fine About Them Which Is Not The Exact Truth

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Drowning





Listen closely, stand still for one moment can you hear me? When i whisper your name at night starring all over my room, do you feel a cold chill come over you? Do you feel me like i feel you?


Do you long for my tender kisses for that soft gentle touch? Or am i just delusional in this madness i once thought was love?


When i pray, do you feel the power of love i am sending? When i cry, do you feel the pain i am feeling? Every time you turn me away, do you know how i hurt, do you even care?


Do you ever sit alone and wonder what things might have been like together? I am at war with myself every day. I have tried making myself to not care.


I have reminisced the past, and even dwelled on all the memories, all the words we have shared together trying to convince myself.


So many times i see you in my dreams' and i am sure to see you tonight. There you are, within reach, yet i cannot hold you, i cannot kiss you as i desire, and i cannot make you love me as i have prayed for so many nights.


How could i love you so much, yet you hardly know i exist? Sometimes, i feel that you are so careless with your feelings, so nonchalant. I don't know how you do it, how can you not feel my love inside you?


You will forever be there. You are the burden in my heart that will shine in me forever. My head is telling me i am a fool and that the feel must not end. My heart tells me love has no end, no boundaries, no rules or fine lines.


You know nothing about this pain, about the torture. I have searched and searched to find a way to release this pain and i am left with nothing.


Without your love, i will always be left with nothing. This is a game i cannot win. I cannot overcome. I want to give up sometimes, but there is no point in that because the feeling i feel will still be there.


No matter how defeated i may feel, i’ll never end this. Last night as i lay sleeping, a vision came to me. It was of you and i, a wondrous sight to see.


And in the dream i had, i reached and touched your face. I clasped your hand in mine. And felt your warm embrace. You held me for a minute. In this moment that did fleet.


I wakened from the dream with a thought of you that stayed with me throughout the day. And never once did fade. I fall asleep thinking of you. Dreaming of things i wish were true. As i wake i shed a tear, because i awake without you here.


“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly without complexities or pride. I love you because I know no other way then this. So close that your hand, on my chest, is my hand. So close, that when you close your eyes, I fall asleep.”



4 comments:

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  3. Assalamualaikum sahabat,

    Poem ni abg bad reka sendiri ke? kalau ye..sangat sedap lah abg bad...siapa lah yang bertuah menjadi inspirasi sampai abg bad boleh tulis mende seromantik ni...ihihik..relax abg bad,i think most ppl in this world mesti pernah bertepuk sebelah tangan..jgn putus asa in searching for ur true love kay....she might not be obvious at the first sight but get to know a girl who truely wants to be with u sometimes can turn out to be a fortune...:)).

    ReplyDelete
  4. Assalamualaikum sahabat,

    Poem ni abg bad reka sendiri ke? kalau ye..sangat sedap lah abg bad...siapa lah yang bertuah menjadi inspirasi sampai abg bad boleh tulis mende seromantik ni...ihihik..relax abg bad,i think most ppl in this world mesti pernah bertepuk sebelah tangan..jgn putus asa in searching for ur true love kay....she might not be obvious at the first sight but get to know a girl who truely wants to be with u sometimes can turn out to be a fortune...:)).

    ReplyDelete

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