--==[[ No Leaf Clover!~ ]]==--

--==[[ July 2008-Gath Bagan Lalang MobileIRC Club ]]==--

Pandang ke luar tingkap.

Hujan.

Sejuk.

Mengantuk.

Baring.

Mata tidak mahu lelap pula.

Bangun.

Duduk di kerusi ini.

Buka folder2 di E:/

Terjumpa salinan blog2 lama.

Masih ingat lagi entry yang bertajuk mahu close semua blog? Ini antara entry saya di dalam mBlog di web MobileIRC. Bersepah2 kan? Huhu~ Dua minggu tidak update. Cadang tadi mahu update entry baru yang berkaitan dengan sahabat. Tapi ketandusan idea pula. Belek2 folder2 di desktop, terjumpa pula draft entry blog ini. Ambil jalan mudah, copy-paste sahaja apa yang ada. Maksud sama juga kan? Blog dari FS baru 3 copy. Selepas seminggu, semua blog2 lama akan saya post semula ke tarikh yang tertera. Sama seperti blog FS yang di-copy-paste sebelum ini. Silakan baca. =)

Date : 17th January 2008
Day : Wednesday
Time : 03:44:15
Venue : Home Sweet Home

For those who called me a friend...

We shared... laughs of joy, moments of pain, tears of happiness~

We earned... care, understanding, as well as a place, in the heart of one another~

We talked... about our dreams, about being best friends for life, just about everything imaginable~

When in trouble... u helped with all ur strength, strength from your love, love from your warm heart~

When i asked why... u simply smiled, u questioned back "What are friends for?"

We walked right beside each other as we felt a friendly breeze, one that i shall never forget. No matter where u'll be, u'll always be in my heart, just promise me that i'll be in yours. Some of u're an angel, who walked into my life. I would hate 2 say goodbye because it seems too soon. But then again we never will since a part of us are always with each other.

A Friend Like You Will Never Turn Me Away.

A Friend Like You Will Be There For Me Everyday.

A Friend Like You Will Hold Me When I Am Feeling Sad.

A Friend Like You Will Rejoice For Me When I Am Feeling Glad.

A Friend Like You Always Knows What To Say And How To Put It Gently, To Make The Pain Go Away.

Today all my feelings hit me all at once, when i found out that u understood. It feels as though i am suffering from this punch, the bad sticks out but i manage to find some good. After we found out we had the same thought, we laughed till we cried. I'm surprised we didn't get caught, we laughed so hard, almost died.

Lips are numb. Stomach aches. Memories. Remember some, pain, not memories, is what time takes. Now greet the day with a smile, trying to never frown. Even though some people are so vile. In my smiles they'll drown. Life will only get harder from here. Think about that almost every time i shed a tear. Look back on the happy times i once had and wish for them to come back.

Never really know which road to choose. Happiness eventually falls on lap. Why does it seem can't smile like before? One day i'll find happiness again. Just have to live my life until then. And while waiting just for that, i think i'll give myself a pat on the back. 'Cuz i've come this far without giving up completely. I'm trying to enjoy life, but it's very difficult.

I guess that's the message i'm trying to send out...

Thank you for being there when needed and even when didn't...

Thank you for being there through the good times and the bad...

Thank you for being there to encourage dreams and crazy ideas...

Thank you for catching before fell down...

Thank you for wiping away the tears when thers was crying...

Thank you for cheering me up and making laugh...

Thank you for all the great memories and the bad...

But most of all... thank you... for being you!!~

End Of Typing: 04:24:16

¤º°¨ ¸„ø¤º°¨„ø¤º°¨°º¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ º¤ø„¸
¨°º¤ø„ ¸METALLICA BEST! º¤ø„¸
¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º „¸¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ ¸„ø¤º „¸¨°

--==[[ I Try!~ ]]==--

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But were not
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Here is my confession
May I be your possesion
Boy I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
I play it off but im dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

--==[[ PrOpErTy Of BaDtZ ]]==--

Something Stupid

Pagi. Panggilan daripada dia. Kereta kehabisan minyak katanya. Saya masih belum keluar dari rumah. Baru terjaga dari lena. Pelik. Dia tidak pernah kehabisan minyak. Awal pagi pula! Tetapi suaranya seperti perlukan bantuan. Tengok jam. Ah! Macamana boleh tidak sedar pula pagi ni? Tergesa2 bangun. Mandi - manda.

Keluar dari bilik air...
Kring!~ Kring!~
"Awak!"
"Ye!"
"Tak payah datanglah! Ada budak motor ni tolong."
"Hah? Oke2. Apa2 hal bagitau."

Mata merilik ke jam dinding. Lewat! Malam tadi tidak tidur lena. Argh! Malas! Mujur ada orang lain tolong. Baik sungguh penunggang motorsikal tersebut. Ambil beg, periksa jika ada barang atau dokumen2 penting tertinggal. Lengkap. Angkat beg ke ruang tamu.

Kring!~ Kring!~
"Awak!~"
"Hah! Dah oke lom?"
"Dah! Tapi orang ni mintak 50 ringgit lah!"
"Aik? Kenapa pulak? Budak muda ke baya2 kita?"
"Entah. Baya2 kita kot? Datanglah sini! Saya takut."
"Pulak. Dok dalam kereta. Kunci semua pintu. Ada orang ramai tak?"
"Ada. Erm..."
"Oke2. Tunggu situ sampai saya datang."
"Cepat sikit!"
"Iyalah. Saya dah lewat ni! Ish!"

Masukkan dompet dan telefon bimbit ke dalam poket. Tutup pintu bilik. Betul2kan rambut yang tak berapa nak ada. Matikan modem. Angkat beg ke depan pintu.

Kring!~ Kring!~
"Cepatlah!"
"Eh! Tunggu je lah situ. Saya datang!"

Apa pula yang sampai RM50? Sumpah seranah. Maki hamun di dalam hati. Ingatan kembali kepada kejadian tayar kereta saya yang pancet dulu. Tolong, tapi minta RM20. Mujur BujaL sampai tepat pada waktunya. Kalau tidak, mahu bergaduh dengan orang yang tidak dikenali di tepi hiway Kajang - Puchong agaknya. Risau.

Ambil kunci, buka pintu....
"APRIL FOOL!!! Hahahaha!~"
"Cis! Ampeh! Terkena aku!"
"Hari ni 1 april lah!"
"Ah! Tade2. Tade April2."
" Hahahaha!~"
"Sampai hati..."

Buat seperti tiada apa berlaku. Abaikan dia yang sedang ketawa di depan pintu. Keluarkan beg. Kunci pintu. Melangkah ke tangga. Dia masih lagi ketawa.

"Nak pergi terus ke?"
"Ah! Jom makan!"
"Hahahaha!"
"Siut jeh! Saya risau tau tak??"
"Hahahaha! Memang plan nak kenakan awak! Hahaha!"
"Cis! Jom pegi makan! Cepat!"
"Marah ke?"
"Yelah! Risau tau tak?"
"April fool mana boleh marah! Hahaha!~"
"Dah2! Jom cepat! Makan! Lapar nih!"

Dia masih ketawa. Belum pun kaki melangkah ke anak tangga untuk turun ke bawah, giliran saya pula ketawa. Dalam hati masih lagi sedikit marah. Ketawa sambil melangkah laju ke kereta. Dia yang tadinya kelat, mengekori dari belakang. Sambung ketawa.

"Naik kereta masing2 ke?"
"Hah! Naik kereta saya ajelah. Gi makan. Pastu blah!"
"Padan muka! Sapa suruh tido lewat! Hahaha!~"
"Jangan buat macam ni lagi. Terkejut tau tak? Ni kejap lagi kang pergi kerja lambat pula."

Ketawa lagi sehingga kereta berhenti di hadapan Millenium Cafe, Putra Perdana. Menu pagi tadi lontong dan milo ais. Dia juga mengambil lontong, tapi tidak ingat pula minuman apa yang diminta. Huhu!~ Makan2. Bercerita. Berbual. Masih lagi ketawa. Topik kami pengalaman April Fool masing2. Tidak lama. Bayar makanan. Terus pergi.

• Sabarkan ajelahh!!!! Hakhak!~ Tahun depan 1 April kena beringat! Kah! Kah! Kah! Menjadi pula lawak April Fool yang berjaya porak perandakan pagi yang dah memang lewat! Cis!
• Prank by My Sweetheart!!

If You Could Only See

FS ::: This entry was posted on September 8, 2006 at 10:58 pm.

If all the world were bout a room and I an inmate in it. I should sleep day and night and watch the fan tracing circles on the wall.

If my room were all the world and i could stay inside it always, i should sit in my chair with my mind adrift and watch the leaves as they changed.

If my room and the world were one and the same, and i could live inside it, i would drift happy from morning to night, dreaming dreams of dreams and watching the light hovering like butterflies on my brain, shifting and melting and flowing into the wall...

--==[[ My Own Prison!~ ]]==--

http://badtzmemoranda.blog.friendster.com/2006/04/hurt/

I Feel the adrenalin. The pain is a sudden rush to me. I see my pain n worries disappearing. I hide my scars in fear of what u may say … But without u, these scars will not exist.

My love… My life… My reason… I sit here n bleed. My smiles… My tears… My heart tares more n more. U denies ur love… I deny my pain… The pain that i feel when u r not by my side. Some call it love I call it suicide.

The pain never ends n my nights are cold. My arms are empty… The cuts cover up my pain. My smiles cover up the heart as u walk along to blind to see my hurt. My days get harder n my nights never seem to end.

I fake a smile n wipe my tears away. I forget the truth. For when I am with u feels so right. Without u, I find myself lost n confused. Broken n torn. Kiss my pain away. Wipe my blood filled tears. It makes me feel worthless n unknown.

It has no mercy. Whispering in my ear that life has no meaning. It tells me no one cares n why goes on. It makes me feel like I have no purpose…