Lama betul tak menaip di blog ni. Rasa macam nak mengarang. Tapi, mata mengantuk pula. Ish. 7.48mlm. Solat kejap. Nak mengaji sikit. Baca Surah Yassin mungkin. Dah lama sangat tak buka Al-Quran sejak tamat Ramadhan 3 bulan yang lalu. Itu pun tak sempat khatam. Hmm. Sayup2 kedengaran suara Imam dan Makmum mengalunkan doa taubat di surau bawah. Arr.. Dah lewat. Nanti malam sambung mengarang lagi. Tata.
Sometimes, when i am alone, i cry. Though not a soul knows why. Tears move tediously through my eye. I cry about life. I cry about everything in my life. I don't know what is right. And i don't know what is left.
This makes it hard to carry on because my soul is gone. What can one do? The world would rather walk on the other side than understand what makes me cry. If they knew what made me cry, they would weep by my side.
The tears roll down my cheek. The taste of salt bitter on my lips just as the taste of the world leaves me weak. My tears leave me battered. The whips of pain. The whips i can not contain.
I cry, but no one knows why. I fight through my tears. The same way i fight my fears. Because the World does not care!! I continue the journey that i can not bare.
I write for the same reason i breathe. If i didn't, i would die without words to express myself. I write my soul down word for word. I write things i could never say. Without this method of expression, i would cry every day.
I try to forget all the regret or else life is mine to miss without saying what i truly feel. Then, i'll always stay like this. So i write for the same reason i breathe. I need to rise higher and higher and finally stop asking why.
Rain sweetly falls upon my face. The thunder, the lightning, numbing my pain. Wind sweeping brusquely through my hair. In that moment, i didn't have a care. I like the quiet, for it speaks the truth. No false pretences, just me and just you. Your words become whispers humming softly in my mind.
Building a battle ground of fears and tears. Time has made me complacent. Cold and sheer. I fall to a place wide within myself. Try as i may i always stumble back to you. Once again, i'm the fool. I was too weak to give in. Too strong to lose. Your promise of forever came decades too soon.
I know this for certain and there's no going back. Our love affair has fallen, wandering off track. Perhaps in a different time, different place, things would have been different. But, what to say? That time, i take one last look. I outline your face. Kiss you one last kiss. And slowly walk away.
I listen to your voice but hear nothing there. What happened to the love that we use to share? I reach out for your hand and it feels so cold. What happened to the warmth that it use to hold ? I never thought a love like ours would ever die.
I never thought you could ever make me cry. It use to be so special like a dream come true. You were the one for me and i was the one for you. Now things have changed we've fallen apart. You said that i'm not the same person. But you? Did you the same person that once touched my heart that moment?
I say i need time cause time is all we had. I'm tired when we both being hurt and feeling so sad. There's nothing left to do but go our own way. The question of "what happened?" will be answered some day. Will u trust me? Will u? Will u?
Tears falling down my cheek, what’s happening to me? I used to be so strong, but lately I feel so weak. All the stress brings me down, tt gives me no choice. I cant seem to speak my mind. I just can't find my voice. More cuts end up on my wrist.
Something else i got to hide. Besides the smile i used to have. But now it's hid behind. The other part of me is the person i pretend to be. So, you don’t see my tears. I fight all my fears. I can't show emotion. So, i store it all inside. But, it builds up,
I breakdown. I have to cut myself to let it all out. The pills numb my pain puts the stress off to the side and when i bleed it all out, i feel better inside.
