It Is Very Hard To Say The Exact Truth, Even About Your Own Immediate Feelings

Much Harder Than To Say Something Fine About Them Which Is Not The Exact Truth

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

--==[[ Goodbye My Lover!~ ]]==--






Copy From FS Blog
:::
This entry was posted on November 8, 2006 at 5:26 pm








At night I sit alone and watch the shadows dance around.
I hold my breath and listen yet silence is the only sound.
I reach for some comfort yet feel no embrace.
I am tired of the emptiness and loneliness of this place.
I can feel no more hurt because I have learned to live with my pain.
I often wonder how I survived and continue to stay sane.
I have hurt so deeply and cried too many tears.
I have been empty and broken for so many days..weeks..months..
I am tired of pretending that I am fine and all is okay.
I am tired of hiding behind this mask I wear every day.
I have drifted so far and can no longer be saved.
These feelings hold me captive and to them I am enslaved.


TODAY I CRIED BUT NO TEARS FELL FROM MY EYES.
THEY FELL FROM THE SKY AND IT FELT LIKE EACH DROP OF RAIN WASHED SOME OF MY SIN AWAY.
ASKING PLEASE FORGIVE ME
BUT I DON'T THINK THEY HEARD ME
BECAUSE EVERY TIME I'M SAYING PLEASE GIVE ME.
LISTEN TO ME IN ONE HAND I GOT A GLASS OF GIN AND WITH THE OTHER HAND I KEEP PUTTING CIGARETTE SMOKE IN MY LUNGS.
IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYTHING IS GOING WRONG ... THEY HURT !!!
GOOD NIGHT I JUST OVERDOSED AGAIN ...





Friday, September 08, 2006

If You Could Only See






FS ::: This entry was posted on September 8, 2006 at 10:58 pm.








If all the world were bout a room and I an inmate in it. I should sleep day and night and watch the fan tracing circles on the wall.


If my room were all the world and i could stay inside it always, i should sit in my chair with my mind adrift and watch the leaves as they changed.


If my room and the world were one and the same, and i could live inside it, i would drift happy from morning to night, dreaming dreams of dreams and watching the light hovering like butterflies on my brain, shifting and melting and flowing into the wall...





Thursday, June 22, 2006

--==[[ I Try ]]==--


Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But were not
I play it off but I’m dreamin of you
I’ll keep it cool but I’m fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it’s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it’s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
I may appear to be free
But I’m just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I’m dreamin of you
I’ll keep my cool but I’m fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it’s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Here is my confession
May I be your possesion
Boy I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can’t deny
I play it off but im dreamin of you
I’ll keep my cool but I’m fiendin
I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it’s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

–==[[ PrOpErTy Of BaDtZ ]]==–


Monday, May 08, 2006

--==[[ Lose Yourself!~ ]]==--


Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin, how everybody's jokin now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Easy, no
He won't have it , he knows his whole back's to these ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that, but he's broke
He's so stagnant that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rap shit
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is borin, but superstardom's close to post mortem
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water
His hoes don't want him no mo, he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it's old partna', but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody's payin the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5
And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cuz man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder
Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus
Teeter totter caught up between being a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama's screamin on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another day of monotony
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only mothafuckin option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got
You can do anything you set your mind to, man

--==[[ PrOpErTy Of BaDtZ ]]==--








Saturday, April 08, 2006

--==[[ My Own Prison!~ ]]==--


I Feel the adrenalin. The pain is a sudden rush to me. I see my pain n worries disappearing. I hide my scars in fear of what u may say … But without u, these scars will not exist.

My love… My life… My reason… I sit here n bleed. My smiles… My tears… My heart tares more n more. U denies ur love… I deny my pain… The pain that i feel when u r not by my side. Some call it love I call it suicide.


The pain never ends n my nights are cold. My arms are empty… The cuts cover up my pain. My smiles cover up the heart as u walk along to blind to see my hurt. My days get harder n my nights never seem to end.


I fake a smile n wipe my tears away. I forget the truth. For when I am with u feels so right. Without u, I find myself lost n confused. Broken n torn. Kiss my pain away. Wipe my blood filled tears. It makes me feel worthless n unknown.


It has no mercy. Whispering in my ear that life has no meaning. It tells me no one cares n why goes on. It makes me feel like I have no purpose…






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